I direct you to an article in today’s LA Times on the subject of Christianity and men. It’s quite timely given some of my earlier posts and my reading of Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow, which is cited in the piece. The Times writer uses as his springboard a conference called “GodMen”, which sounds like a revved-up, less teary Promise Keepers. Here are some details from the article:
Apparently the leader of this conference uses profanity and says stuff like “thank you, Lord, for our testosterone.” (This immediately strikes me as a no-brainer. Of course I’m thankful for testosterone. I’m equally thankful for estrogen. If it wasn’t for estrogen women wouldn’t be so darn attractive. that would suck.) The conference’s music includes lyrics such as: “Forget the yin and the yang/I’ll take the boom and the bang…/Don’t need in touch with my feminine side/All I need is my testosterone high.” (yeah, I get it. but I seem to know a lot of women who like it when guys make an effort to listen, respond to feelings, and do other “feminine” things).
Here’s where I’m at. I appreciate the effort to draw men back to the church. But it kills me when I see these efforts go so overboard, as in the Times article. I also get nervous because these movements tend towards a complementarian view of gender roles. Even the Murrow book leans in this direction. I don’t think that has to be the case. I agree that the traditional worship service is emasculating, but that doesn’t mean that women can’t now be preachers or teachers or elders in the church. The key word ought to be balance. The church has to be a place that celebrates, highlights (and even laments) the fullness of our broken humanity. Trampling on all things feminine is not the answer.
I’ll end with a final thought. The article quotes a participant in the GodMen conference who says that “men are uncomfortable in church.” Again, I generally agree. However, I don’t think comfort should be the defining criteria for discerning how to structure church. We need to ask, “For what reason are men uncomfortable?” At some level, the church should make us all uncomfortable. We should be challenged by issues of sin in our life and then led towards a renewing of our mind and our behaviors. That will often put us in awkward spots and that’s okay. That’s the right kind of discomfort.
December 7, 2006 at 10:46 pm |
Daniel…..once again you have provoked much thought.
Think of the most hard nosed, ‘eat nails for lunch’, no neck, loud, raucous, beer guzzling, football crazy, pickup truck driving, iron pumping, woman-crazy, man you know from work, but he is also decent, moral, hard working, and a gentleman. He doesn’t like to cry, touch other men, or wear his emotions on his sleeve. And why should he. He is not opposed to God, just indifferent.
Now juxtapose that on a Christian sub-culture that equates spiritual depth with the ability to emote in song, to shed tears on a moment’s notice, to touch and hold and hug. (side note: Men, DO NOT EVER INTERLOCK FINGERS WHEN YOU HOLD HANDS WITH OTHER MEN IN PRAYER). The unchurched man’s man will not feel comfortable in a setting like that. And if he believes that is the Christian life, he will not seek God in the church.
My argument is this: if he is uncomfortable in church, let’s be sure it is the discomfort of the gospel. It can never, ever, be the result of anything cultural that is soothingly comfortable to the churched, but a turn off to the average unchurched person.
We too often expect the unchurched to adjust to our church culture. I believe down to my bones that the call is for us to make the adjustments so that our petty ways do not prevent a seeker from finding God.
December 7, 2006 at 11:04 pm |
Mike, I couldn’t agree more. We want the truth of the Gospel to be the key sticking point, the thing that leaves a lasting impression when an unchurched guy goes to church; not whether he felt awkward singing “i could sing of your love forever.”
June 3, 2008 at 6:31 am |
the songs more often than not refer to god as a lover more than what he is supposed to be..father and king.
heck when I’m older I’ll probably take to reading my bible and other religious books rather than holding hands and singing “your all I want” wtf is that?